Life isn’t always a rose-petal path. The journey just isn’t soft and fragrant the entire way. You have stretches where the warm sands of tranquility soothe your feet, and then you have the miles in between – where your feet are met with sharp resistance, frozen in hardship. Although I know that hardship is relative, each of us having our own idea of what that is for us…things are feeling pretty hard right now.
First of all, dealing with teenagers is NO easy task. We have one (not sayin’ which) who has really taken us for a ride this week. Totally out of character for him/her (nice try, ya’ll) and I am slightly hurt and definitely exhausted. I love this boy/girl and I know it’s just a phase…or at least I try to keep reminding myself of that. Somehow though, this headache that made its home in my frontal lobe two days ago is still hanging around.
Worse for us though, and what I really want to share with everyone who has been following D’Lo as he deals with his Nephrotic Syndrome, is that he has once again (third time) relapsed. He just finished his second round (4-6 months each) on prednisone and I hadn’t checked his urine in awhile since he had been responding so well. Today at Dee Dee’s volleyball clinic, when I took him potty, I noticed the foam in his urine. My heart sank – really. I swear I felt it hit the bottom of my flip-flops. Once home, I tested his pee with the little sticks from his Pediatric Nephrologist…DAMN IT! It didn’t tell me what I wanted it to.
So tomorrow morning I’ll put in the call to OHSU and get this process started all over again. He can’t take much more of this prednisone, but I’m unfamiliar with alternate treatment. I don’t even know what to expect. I’m stirred, not shaken. I’m bent, not broken. I’m worried about my little guy. I know that God loves him more than I do, although I can hardly fathom that. Plus, I’m feeling kind of far from God right now anyway.
Realizing that this is the absolute WORST time to feel that distance…still here it is. When you Prayer Warriors go to battle for the health of my son – maybe you could throw in a few words for me? I appreciate it. Meanwhile, I’ll be searching for those few little flowers that always still blossom…even amongst the sharpest rocks along a journey.