A Sparrow’s Heart: “All The Pieces Of You”

For my precious sister, a tribute her sweet little J.D. who would have been four this month:

 

I grasp for any piece of you.

Scattered in the wind of a July breeze,

As numerous as the stars of that same summer night,

Are all the pieces of you.

A smile, sweet laughter,

Your little, raspy voice calling after me,

And there you are in the memories of my heart.

My head might tell me they are the fantasies built from sorrow,

But to my soul, they are as vividly real as the air that fills my lungs,

The tears that fill my eyes,

and the tender smile that tugs at the corners of my lips

As I remember you, all the pieces of you.

This is a recall of the heart, a place where tragedy cannot find you,

Because I will protect you there.

Safe and sound in that place will be your first tooth,

Your first step, your first day of kindergarten,

And then that last kiss goodnight before the recital of our bedtime prayer.

As I hold inside of myself all the pieces of you,

Time escapes me, and there you are.

You have become a man in the blink of an eye.

The reflection of your precious life sped by so quickly,

and you are so breathtaking and…and, I love you so very much.

Your hands have far outgrown mine,

and they envelope me as you hold me in that same familiar way.

I remember this piece of you very well,

For it is the same blanketing comfort I wrapped you in

The day that you were born.

 

WE LOVE YOU J.D.

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To Those Born Between 1930 and 1979

I got this email from my cousin today, and as Arsenio Hall used to say…”Things that make you go, hmmmm.”

To all the kids who survived the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s…

First, we survived being born to mothers who drank and/or smoked during pregnancy.

They took aspirin, ate bleu cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and never got tested for diabetes.

Then, after that trauma, we were put down to sleep on our tummies in cribs brightly covered with lead based paint.

We had no child proof lids on medicine bottles, no locks on doors and cabinets, and when we rode our bikes we wore baseball hats instead of helmets.

As infants and children, we would ride n cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seatbelts, no airbags, bald tires, and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank from the garden hose, not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink, between four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, REAL butter and bacon, we drank Kool-aid made with real white sugar, and we weren’t overweight…WHY?

Because we were always outside playing… that’s why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were home before the streetlights came on.

We would spend hours building go carts and bike ramps out of scraps.

We did not have Playstations, Gamecubes, and X-Boxes. There were no video games, 150 cable channels, no DVD’s, or CD’s, or surround sound. No cell phones, personal computers, internet, or chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS… and we went outside and found them.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We got spankings with wooden spoons, branches, belts, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call CPS to report abuse.

We ate worms and mud pies made from real dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, did not put out many eyeballs.

Little League had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment…Imagine that!

The idea of our parents bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever.

The past fifty years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success, and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of THESE kids…Congratulations!

You may want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as one of these kids, and while you’re at it, forward it to your own kids so that they will know just how lucky (and brave) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with a pair of scissors, doesn’t it?

Posted in MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS | 1 Comment

A Sparrow’s Heart: “That Child”

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THAT CHILD

That child was not created one drunken night,

enclosed in some smoke, twisted around some rocks and powder.

That child is a work of the hand of God.

That child was not placed in a poisoned womb

by someone else’s husband.

That child was tearfully, yet carefully, laid in that place

by The One who already knew that child,

not by the one who would stumble across that child a month or so later.

And though the angels cried for that child

 as that child’s first hit off a crack pipe

came before precious breath itself,

and as that child floated in a drunken stupor, inside a liquid filled sac,

God smiled upon that child as He gently guided that child

into the harsh work that would become the home of that same child,

who God knew would survive it.

Donna Sparrow

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Thank You Lord

A'Darius 235Thank You Father God for this precious new life and, just as with the four that came before him, I ask that You protect him all the days of his life. I pray that those days and years are numerous, joyful, happy and healthy. I beg You, in the name of Your own precious Son, Jesus, keep them all safe, protected from all harm whether it be physical, mental, emotional, and especially spiritual.

I look at them, and am in awe of Your wondrous plan, that you would even find me worthy to be entrusted with the lives of these five children, Your children, loaned to me for but a time. Please give me the patience and wisdom, even in the midst of daily chaos, to remember that my time here, that our time here, is so temporary. That I must shine brightly, and with all my might, in order to help guide them along their individual paths toward You, so that when our brief time here is over, I will still have the honor of knowing them in Heaven.

Thank You, thank You, thank You Father for letting me feel the wonder of  life, five times, growing inside of me, and for the ability to feed each of them with my own body. What a miraculous creation You envisioned when You designed the woman’s body. I am so grateful to have been blessed with the experience.

In Jesus name…Amen

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Fourth Of July Gift

A'Darius 073A'Darius 086A'Darius 154A'Darius 216July 3rd 2009: So I prayed. I prayed and walked, and I walked and prayed. I came home, took a warm shower, and put on my cute, new, big mama pajamas. Then, the fun part. The Mommy and Daddy part, the husband and wife part, you know, that part God smiles upon as long as you’ve taken vows together? Well, I figured it was worth a shot (ok, probably the wrong word choice).  Besides, the odds were growing (dang it, did it again) that this may be the last time in a long time.  OK, sorry, no details for you. As he lay there, quickly falling into his regular “after the husband and wife time” coma, I rolled my big self over in order to see the clock, so many thoughts flooding my brain, wondering about the “what ifs” and waiting for the clock to strike midnight (awww, just like Cinderella).  Then there it was, my birthday, and guess what?…contraction.

July 4th 2009: Contraction? For real? I mean, no way, right?…contraction. Whoah, that was five minutes. Let me just lay here and wait…contraction. Lay here and wait? Hecks to the no, man. I got up and turned that flat iron on, just to make sure. I paced around my room, my sleeping husband completely clueless about the pains now regularly plaguing my lower abdomen. I made sure my packed bag and charged video camera were ready. Please believe I used that flat iron! Make up? Didn’t bother.

I called my sister-in-law, Olivia Shade. I had been through this so much in the last week, I really didn’t want to start making official calls yet, but I thought she could go up to the hospital with me to see if this was really it. She and I arrived about one in the morning. Contractions getting stronger now, I am dilated to a four, and completely effaced. OK, we better start making calls. “Happy birthday to me!” I would announce at the beginning of each call.  

Well, people started to arrive pretty quickly, which was a good thing cuz my contractions were now two minutes apart and growing ever stronger. My sisters, my parents, two nieces, a nephew, and then finally, my precious husband and children. They all sat and watched as the nurses struggled with my IV. Apparently I have great veins, but they roll. They ended up having to call an IV specialist (and I would be bruised for a week in all the spots they missed) and just as another painful contraction rolled up on me, and the IV lady attempted her magic, I sent one up to Heaven. “Please Lord Jesus” I begged. “I guess you said the magic words” she stated as she successfully slid that huge needle into my traumatized arm. I ended up getting the epidural, but not before I was already dilated to 9.5. I guess I could have endured the last half centimeter but I really wanted to be pain free as I tried to enjoy and share this last pregnancy experience with my family.  

He arrived, quite effortlessly and with only three pushes (I guess that’s how fifth children arrive) at 5:26am. He weighed 8lb., 10oz., and was 20.5 inches long. He has a head full of shiny, black hair and he has his daddy’s nose. Blessed and a blessing, he is a beautiful, miraculous, amazing, fourth of July gift. Like I said earlier…Happy birthday to me!

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