I want to take a moment to thank, from the bottom of my heart, the interracial family that lives just down the street from my sister. It can be difficult at times to break stereotype in the eyes of society, and remove the negative prejudices that many people keep about families like ours…biracial children like ours. You go above and beyond everything that could ever be expected of you, when it comes to setting an example for the rest of us.
The way your seventeen year old, high school drop out, rude, loud, and disrespectful daughter sits at the end of your driveway, cussing loudly at anyone she perceives needs an a** (her words, not mine) beating – it’s so classy, and the situation is only enriched by the thought of her kicking all these butts while she is pregnant! An amazing mother-to-be, no doubt, and maybe, if she strives really hard, she’ll be as great a mother as her own. Yes, that would be a fantastic goal to aspire to. Mmmm-hmmm, her inner beauty really shines super bright every time she opens that mouth of hers!
Then, those son’s of yours. Wow. What can I say about how they put people’s minds at ease and make them feel so secure driving down their own street, the way they refuse to interrupt their game of street ball in order for any motorists to pass. All the neighbors totally admire the manners and respect you have instilled in your children. And believe me when I tell you – it warms my heart the way they mean mug anyone that has the nerve to try to get past that crazy-important game of H-O-R-S-E, toward their own driveways. Oh yes! Fine, young men indeed…I’m sure you are proud!
Lastly, and by far, the member of your family that I appreciate the most…dear, sweet, Mama! From white woman to white woman, I cannot tell you how much it means to me to be represented by a woman of such intelligence and self-awareness. Especially the way you run out of your house, in an instant, to reprimand your children for their ridiculous behavior so colorfully, verbally attack any grown up who feels the need to defend themselves against the near criminal actions of your kids. You are very articulate and so obviously know how to throw around a verb, adjective, and noun – as so eloquently proven when you told my sister you were going to kick her bleeping bleep and called her an ugly bleeping bleep. Nice! Let me ask you a question or two…Have you looked into a mirror lately? How about a classroom – ever seen the inside of one?
The greatest thing of all? It’s the way people who have been exposed to your interracial family are going to initially feel about mine. You see, I live my life trying my best to be a positive example of what interracial love looks like. We raise our children to be shining representations of the types of kids that come out of unions such as ours; polite, respectful of themselves and others, educated about the parts of their whole, enlightened, compassionate…well, the list of all the things we want for our kids, and for our kids to be, goes on and on! Your list is obviously much shorter.
Now, back to the gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you…for making my two choices clear: Choice #1 – work even harder at being a positive representative of multiracial families, in order to offset the damage you do OR Choice #2 – Pray to God that the majority of folks that will be exposed to both of our families, will meet us first!
Well said!
Amen! I have had these thoughts so mamny times but have never let them out. I thank you for putting them out there! Keep spreading them positive…it’s all we can do.
LOVED your description of that other family. Don’t think of them as a representation of an interracial family… just think of them as a representation of a bad family. I think it’s more a lack of class (not sure that’s the word I’m looking for… sense, self-respect?) than anything with their race.
Your kids are fortunate to grow up with classy (respectable?), great loving parents. They’ll be proud… the other kids? They’ll have troubles and therapy bills. The mouth on that mom sounds ummmm…. trashy? 😀
It’s a courageous and sobering post, Donna, and beautifully written. Add my prayers to yours! 🙂
Love the post! I feel your pain!
From a mixed chick to a parent raising mixed kids I must say I am highly offended by this article. You need to check your privilege. This whole article reeks of racism and classism.
I emailed you, Miss Rachel, in order to start up dialogue pertaining to your view of this post. I thought maybe you would have something that I needed to know, maybe something I was missing due to my “priviledge”, but of course you didn’t respond. I wonder why that is. You seem to have plenty to say in response to the post, soooooo? Maybe it’s that you’re full of it, maybe the seminar you just took on white priviledge caused you to get ahead of yourself and gave you the need to just start spewing nonsense about mine? Here’s the deal, I am allowed to have my opinion about whatever I want to, and I definitely have an opinion about this sort of behavior and lack of respect for self and others. You can call it whatever you want but when a mother and her kids can’t even walk down the street without being harassed and cursed out by this teen girl, and when someone is not even able to talk back to the child without her mother running out with her “girls” to start a fight, and when I can’t even drive down the street toward my sister’s house without getting the stink eye from the kids playing basketball there, well…not quite sure how my feelings about that “reek of racism and classism”…get over yourself already.
I must agree with Rachel and Nancy but I also agree with you as well.
You should be raising well mannered kids because it’s the ( right) thing to do ( This is agreeing with you)
NOT because you are afraid of what other people and I’m presuming white people will think of your family or other multiracial families as far as stereotypes. ( This is agreeing with Rachel except she used racism which probably triggered your anger when she maybe should have used a different word other than racism =))
You see when you have views like these, you are almost believing the stereotypes that people have, such as Oh my kids better not act this way or act that way or else these other racist people will think less of my family because they are multiracial. Question? would you also be this equally concern if your husband and children were white?
??? like my kids better not act this way or else people will think all white families act this way OR would you be more concerned of the fact you wouldn’t want people to perceive them as being bad for the sake of being ill mannered and not due to their race?
I do not based my views on people’s races, I try to look at people as individuals. Rachel and I are both biracial, I do not know her but she said she was mixed and raising mixed children. I do not have children but if I did, I would raise them to be simply good children and NOT because I wouldn’t want to perpetrate any stereotypes because to think this way that means you would have to also believe in them yourself. In other words subconsciously you must feel uncomfortable at times with your family due to them being biracial and you don’t want to prove racist bigot people that they are right regarding stereotypes about black children in general because even if they are mixed as myself and I do label myself as being biracial I know deep inside this country sees us as black when it comes down to it but that’s a different story.
Might I add, You are indeed right about having your own opinion and this is your blog but you should also not get upset if others who are reading your postings may not agree with you unless they are being down right and I really don’t know why Rachel said privileged or what she meant by that.
It’s OK to disagree with her but not attack her in the way you did makes it seems like you were more defensive towards her then she was with you which shows underlying pain you must have felt or still feel having a multicultural family.
The last thing I would like to say is that I do commend you and your husband for taking on his siblings. I do believe you guys were obviously meant to be and wish you guys the best. My posting in no way is to attack but to let you know how some people felt regarding what you wrote.
I wish you could move out of that neighborhood because I would be upset as well, you nor your family should have to endure such nonsense that other family have, it has nothing to do with them being multicultural, they are simply bad people with no manners. =)
Diana
********and you don’t want to prove racist bigot people that they are right regarding stereotypes ( when in fact they are not ) but in their minds they think they are right.
Raising well mannered kids IS the right thing to do, no doubt, no matter what their race. Thank you for taking the time to post, I appreciate it. I was unclear about her choice of the terms racism, classism, and priviledge…and yes, I was irritated (as noted by my response), however, I felt equally (or more) attacked by her words than she should by mine. I’m not sure how my response, in any way, gave you reason to deduce that I am, or ever have been, subconciously or otherwise, uncomfortable with the way my family looks. Underlying pain? Ummmmm, no. I am highly proud of my husband, my children, my family. I would walk into any white supremist or black pride gathering WITH my family, WITH my head held high…but I would be walking in there with self-respect – NOT acting a fool, like this family in my sister’s neighborhood.
We raise our kids to be a certain way, not because of what others think of them, but because of what we want them to think of themselves. To know their worth, to value what’s inside (and outside) of them. I am certainly not believing the stereotypes that people have – I am most certainly, however, knowing that those stereotypes exist. Stereotypes begin in some ignorant place…and folks like this do a great job of perpetuating them, while we are doing our best to squash them. My family are ambassadors. I’m sure you can appreciate that, coming from a multiracial family yourself. Like it or not, we set an example and, in a sense, prepare the way for future multi-racial families. You may be interpreting this in the sense that I care too much what others think, I look at it as a respectful representation of what a multi-racial family looks like – rather than doing my best to match the ugliness of the stereotype.
I’m glad that you don’t base your views on people’s races, the world should definitely follow your lead. Unfortunately, it hasn’t. I, in no way, think your comment is an attack, unlike Rachel’s. Hers was an attack, and not even a good one. This is your opinion, and I appreciate that, even if I don’t agree with it. The difference in your tone is the difference in my response.
Which is my point EXACTLY! We ARE proving to them that they are not right in their stereotypes. It’s families like the one I reference in the post that are proving them RIGHT. There, we agree 🙂
I see where you’re coming from now and I’m sure if we were having a face to face conversation, (question-answer dialogue), I wouldn’t have had that misunderstanding but you know how sometimes email, texting or even chat communication does not compare to good old actual verbal communication. =)
I understand you want the best for your family because that’s the way it should be and not because you are concerned about what others think.
I wish more people ( regardless of race) thought like that and would therefore raise their children better and would ultimately have nicer neighborhoods in general but you know the world we live in unfortunately does not display enough of that.
Thanks and I see where you’re coming from now =)
Diana
This is what I’m talkin’ about! Resectful dialogue. I never attack, unless I’m made to defend myself and then…watch out! lol. Thank you for responding, again. I just now saw that you did. I hope you stick around This Nest, I love comments and discussions 🙂 Be blessed.