The Boobie’s Coming Out!

I’m hearing all this buzz about a certain Target store taking issue with a woman breastfeeding her child there. Then there were breastfeeding sit-ins organized at dozens of other stores, in protest. I’m completely shocked by these women! They think they can just plop down and feed their own children, with their own bodies – using God’s brilliant design just the way it was meant to be used?! They got their nerve!

I suppose it would be more acceptable if, instead of milk, their breasts were filled with silicone or saline and they were exposing themselves for a buck – instead of to satisfy their precious child’s hunger. I guess the backlash over having to see some lady’s boobs would be minimized if they were in a porno mag – rather than in a moment of comfort for a woman’s own baby. What do you think? Would an X-rated movie be a more appropriate place for nipple than in the mouth of a hungry infant or toddler?

Here’s the really crazy part – all of these folks that are so offended by what is one of the most amazing and natural acts, are the same people who ooohh and awwwww over bears and tigers doing the same thing for their own offspring at the local zoo. What?! That’s right, you know what I’m talking about. Any other mammal feeds her kids and it’s all gravy, but God-forbid you have to see an actual human being doing the same. How dare she?!

Check this out: my breasts have personally fed five little Sparrows, for a total of eleven years now…and the milk is still-a-flowing! As a matter of fact, my boobie is in the mouth of my youngest at this very moment, my left arm cradling his two-year-old head even as I am typing this. That’s right, I did say a two-year old! He’s actually almost two and a half, and he’s my last, so I will nurse him as long as he still wants these moments of warmth, comfort, and nutrition – REGARDLESS (that means that I don’t give a damn about your opinion of my life) of what anyone thinks about it!

Then the comments – ooh, the ridiculous comments! Is anyone really trying to compare pooping with breastfeeding? As in: “Pooping is natural too, but that doesn’t mean I want to see someone doing it.” Are you serious right now?! A person, someone claiming to have an actual brain in their head, is going to compare toxic (and extremely stinky and disgusting), disease carrying, foul and slimy feces…to the sweet, life-giving, nutritious breastmilk that a mother sustains her child with? PLEASE miss me with that mess (no pun intended) – you sound S-T-U-P-I-D, really.

I will leave you with my own little poem, in the stylings of Dr. Seuss:

I will nurse my baby here, I will nurse him there, I will do it anywhere. I will nurse him on my couch or on cuddling in my bed, or I will give him a boobie at Target instead. If you don’t like it- don’t look, I don’t care if you see, this gift that God gave my baby and me!