I dreamed about you last night, Grandma. I was with you, at your place. It was a retirement community…but not the one I was familiar with while you were still here with us. It was different but, in the dream, I still knew it was yours. You were leading me by the hand (I wish that I’d had the thought to look at our hands and see which one of us had your ring on), guiding me through the unfamiliar hallways. There were others around us but one person, in particular, was with you and me. I can’t recall who it was no matter how hard I try…I just know it was a female.
Turn after turn led us to an elevator. It was going up. As everyone loaded in ahead of me, I let go of your hand to take my place in the elevator too. You weren’t coming with me and, somehow, I knew that already. The moment our hands released each other, I felt an overwheming burden of sadness and I turned to look at you. There you stood with your short, curly hair and your soft, porcelain skin. You were wearing a nightgown and you raised your arms to me in a gesture of embrace. I rushed back to you, not knowing why I was so sad, and I fell into your arms. I buried my face into your neck.
Oh my God, I felt your warm skin and I inhaled your sweet scent. It was so real and in my dream I still could not understand my sadness. Then I woke up…
I’ve gone the rest of the day on the verge of tears. They’ve just been sitting there waiting to be unleashed, but I’ve been too busy attending to my family to let them flow – until now.
I miss you Grandma. I love you and I miss you. I think about you so often, and I kiss your ring each night when I take it off. Then, when God decides to allow me to rise the next day…a smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I put it back on. I hope you find me again one night soon…I really want to spend some more time with you.
Ohhhh…. myyyyy…. I miss her too! Crying right now! Thank you for writing that Donna. I do miss her so much. I only wish I could go spend the day with her at her retirement home. I sat here and tried my best to smell her sweet smell and I couldn’t. (sad face)….and tears!
How precious was that dream and the way you write about it. You were blessed to have her, if only in a dream. We were all blessed to have her in our lives, and the hole she left is huge. I miss her, too.
Oh boy….lots of tears. I miss her with my whole heart. Sometimes I will see my sweet Mama’s hands or legs or eyes, then I realize that they live on with me. Last week I was being silly trying to make Brodie laugh and I did something that stopped me in my tracks. For a split second my Mama was there. I look forward with precious anticipation to spending forever with her. I love you Mama