All day at Dev’s volleyball tournament, without Little Man, means another step closer to the end of my breastfeeding experiences. Trust me, I am aware that I’ve been blessed with more than my fair share of this bonding with my children…that’s right, five kids for a total of eleven years of nursing! Wow. Doing the math is an eye-opener! That means that I have been nursing children for MORE than a quarter of my life.
Still, the finality of it all is a little overwhelming. While I am looking forward to some “freedom” – I am also pretty sad, since this is my last child. I’ve been slowly trying to wean him…from several times a day (pretty much whenever he demanded a booby and cuddle), to just a few times a day, to only once per day, and then there’s this coming weekend. This President’s weekend will be my first-ever, full weekend away from either of our youngest children. As a matter of fact, the last time I was away from any of my kids this long was when I flew out to North Carolina to get my tubes untied, so that we could have these last two maniac midgets!
I’m nervous. I’m worried about AD…and I’m worried about his daddy, who will be caught in the storm of my absence. I’m also excited. I’m anxious to be able to focus all my attention on Dee Dee, and enjoy a full weekend, just she and I, cheering her on during her three-day volleyball tournament at OSU. Our older kids have made some sacrifices since the little guys came along. Don’t get me wrong, they love their younger brothers, but sometimes they also want my undivided attention. When they make a great play and look up to make sure I saw it…but I’m chasing after a two knuckleheads instead. That happens a lot.
So I am currently, and barely, producing my last few drops of breastmilk. I can barely still feel the “let down” as my supply continually decreases and, soon, will end. Bittersweet indeed. I’m sure I will cry once it’s all over…but for now, I’ll look forward to my weekend with my baby girl.
