A Light In The Darkness

Aaaawwwww, beautiful life…just when we are plunged to the edge of darkness, sweet light radiates warmth into our lives and reminds us that we are alive.

We lost one of our own this week. The heartbreak that rippled through our family has caused such a dull ache…only multiplied by the circumstances surrounding her death. I remember growing up, with her a mere nine years my elder, thinking she was so beautiful and full of life. She sparkled like clear water on a sunny day.

I can’t wrap my mind and heart around how she left…I pray I never understand it on a first-hand level. My husband says that some people just aren’t really made for this world. I hope she finds rest now.

Then, two days later…

Our family was blessed with new life…LIFE.  A perfect, beautiful, baby boy. On his tiny shoulders…the weight of an entire family. In the midst of sorrow, he came and brought with him a renewed hope for all of us. The tears shed in pain, transitioned to joy as we witnessed the beginning of his journey. His lovely mother bearing down, her physical pain somehow aleviating the emotional pain of the previous days’ events.

I wonder if Aunt Carol got to kiss him on her way into Heaven…a temporary goodbye as she was coming and he was going? Whatever the case may be…I thank you, Baby Dexter, for being such a bright light in a dark time.

Welcome to the world 🙂

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I Love You, Aunt Carol

I’m falling…so deep, so far.

I cannot see you where you are

in the warm light.

My brightness has faded, it is gone.

My warm is cold, I’m all alone.

Why can’t I feel myself?

I cannot think, I cannot see.

I’ve misplaced the one

that once was me.

The dark fog is blinding.

I’m swimming…but I don’t know how.

My lungs collapse, I can’t breath now

or do I even want to?

I’m whispering…”Help”

but too tired to ask.

My world is black, don’t know if I’ll last…

to see the sun again.

 

I love you, Aunt Carol

Sunrise…January 27, 1962        

Sunset…July 20, 2010

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Getting Her Point Across

I was informed a few things by my (way too grown for herself) daughter, Miss Devaney Antonia Sparrow.

“First of all” she began, “when I have a daughter, I will be naming her Devaney Antonia…and I will be giving her my last name.”

OK, I thought, men do that all the time…but wait, stop the presses!…EVERY time this girl has to watch one of her baby brothers, she decides that she is NEVER going to have a kid…

“And when my daughter gets older” she continued, “she won’t have any chores AND she’ll get an allowance!”

Hmmmmm, I’m not sure…uhhhhhh, I think my child is trying to tell me something :).

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Little One, Precious One

 

Little One, Precious One,

I have some things to say.

Your lovely, fragile heart

took it’s last beat today.

Thoughts of your unseen smile

settle in my mind

and I wish that I could see you

for the first and only time.

A pain rips through my heart

as I cry and let you know,

Today I said Goodbye…

before I got to say Hello.

 

Little One, Precious One

I have some things to do.

I’ll smile through my sadness

and get on with missing you.

I’ll live and love and take care of

the ones that are still here.

I’ll cherish the memories I made up

and wipe away my tear.

I’ll wrap you up and tuck you into

a corner of my soul.

Then I’ll say Goodbye…

before I got to say Hello.

 

I love you, Nephew…Happy birthday

 

(Aunt) Donna Sparrow

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Sah-wee Aunt Nit-ty

I know it’s not funny at all…but somehow, and through our shock, we were still hardly able to keep from laughing at my bossy two year old as he put his Aunt Nickie in check.

She was simply (and for the second or so time) asking him to stop climbing over the gate we have at the bottom of the stairs…

“You shut yuh mouth!” he yelled at her, finger pointing as his eyebrows frowning angrily.

“D’Lo!!! You do not talk to your Aunt Nickie like that!” I scolded, “Now you tell her you’re sorry!”

“Sah-wee Aunt Nit-ty”

…and just as I turned my back (finger pointing at her again, eyebrows in their previously irritated position)…

“I’m gonna kick yuh butt!”

That’s it! He is officially banned from hanging out with his fifteen year old brother ever again, lmbo.

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