Amen – Hey, Man

This Nest
He reached for my hand, his food sitting in front of him, as we prepared to eat our lunch. As is the routine, I prayed a short blessing over our meal and he repeated me, line for line. He waited eagerly for me to begin…and I waited eagerly for his precious echo:

Dear Lord, thank You for this day.
Deayah Lawd, thank You fah this day.

Thank You for this food.
Thank You fah this food.

Thank You for our blessings.
Thank You fah ah bwessings.

Please continue to bless us.
Please continue to bwess us.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.
In Jesus’ name…HEY, MAN.

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No News Is Good News?


D’Lo is our brave and funny, little soldier! Overall, and through its ups and downs, this day went well. No real answers…but that’s not really a bad thing. We knew going in that it was going to be a good news/bad news kind of day, either way. The news would either be no news (meaning no tumors, no ulcers, no visible problems) but no answers either, or an answer…and another diagnosis, another health problem, another hurdle in our four-year-old’s path. One thing the doctor did notice, once the camera made it’s way up and into the urethra and to the bladder, was “tight tone” in the muscle system up there. This does account for penile pain in grown men…but he’s never seen it in a child this young, and it can’t be treated in a child this young anyway. He didn’t say that was our answer, actually said it probably wasn’t…but maybe. So now we wait, and watch, and listen to our baby complain about his wee-wee hurting.

As I expected, there was a fair share of disoriented anger and mild violence as D’Lo came out of anesthesia. They actually rushed out to get us from the waiting area, hoping we could help calm down our thrashing and screaming child. It took a little while, and the nurse took a few right hooks, but he finally settled down. Thank You, Lord for getting our little guy through this day.

By far, the funniest moments of the day (of the year) were once the sedative kicked in so that D’Lo would accept being moved to the back without us. I didn’t know how strong the stuff was, and was even concerned that his dose was too small since he spit out about half due to its nasty taste. Concerns invalidated as I watched him begin to sway gently from side to side, listened to him slur as he sang along to the cartoon on the TV, and laughed as he began asking me over and over again if his breath smelled good – all while blowing that hot breath in my face. My God, my baby was lliterally drunk…and, Lord forgive me, it was SO funny! Concerned for his safety as he teetered on the edge of the hospital bed, I asked him if he’d like to lay down:

“No, Mama, I just want to do this!” He answered, and began throwing his head around and around in large circles – masses of curls being thrown all over the place and a dopey smile on his face!

I tried to hide my amusement from the RN who didn’t seem to find any humor in my thinking a drunk four-year-old was funny. Ha! I think she deserved those right hooks that were headed her way, lol. The pictures above are of D’Lo, under the influence, waiting to be rolled back for the procedure. I appreciate all the prayers. You are all so appreciated.

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Another Big Tomorrow


I feel like I’ve been absent from my bloggy family for awhile. Life has a way of keeping you running around trying to catch your breath, and I just kept pushing the keyboard and monitor to the bottom of my to-do list…even though I have had a ton to write about. Volleyball tournaments every weekend, my hubby’s birthday, getting ready to become a college student again (wow), making big life decisions…but the biggest thing, the most important thing happening to us this week, happens tomorrow morning.

As you all know, our precious D’Lo has had his share of bumps in his little, four-year-old road. Kawasaki Disease when he was just one, Neprotic Syndrome (kidney disease) diagnosed just six months ago, and he has had penis pain for over a year now. Actually, it was a urine sample while trying to get to the bottom of his “wee-wee” hurting that stumbled us upon the kidney disease…but then the pain in his little boy part pretty much got pushed to the backburner while he underwent the Prednisone treatment for the kidney issues. We are finally into the last two weeks of that treatment – and now it’s time to re-visit the still-present, but very random, complaints about the painful wee-wee.

And so tomorrow morning, with a check in time of 7:00am, we head to see the Pediatric Urologist’s surgical team. I guess they call it surgery since D’Lo will be put under anesthesia (which he is not good with). Once asleep, they will be going in with a camera to try to find the source of the pain. It must be a very tiny camera…I hope it’s a very tiny camera.

I’m honestly torn about what, or even if, they discover an answer. Do I want yet another diagnosis added to the growing list of obstacles he’s had to hurdle…or do I want to continue living with a kid who just randomly blurts out (quite loudly I might add) that his wee-wee hurts? I don’t know. I just really don’t know…

Through it all, D’Lo has remained the same crazy, goofy, active, super smart and witty kid! His smile makes my heart rejoice and his laughter makes my soul dance. His warm, little body curled up next to me as he sneaks into our bed, no matter how many times we put him back into his own, and his soft kisses in the morning are the gift I am given each and every day…and I am grateful. So grateful.

He will be angry and confused as the anesthesia wears off, and he will be sore for the next few days when he pees. I pray for the strength to take any news they may give…or not give. Mostly though, I pray that God brings our baby boy through, once again, as He always does. Thank You, Lord. If you happen to look at the clock around 8:30am PST, and if you happen to think of us, please join me as I cover our little boy in prayer.

I’ll update as soon as I can.

Posted in CHILDHOOD NEPHROTIC SYNDROME/MCD, FAMILY, KAWASAKI DISEASE | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday (again) Mr. Sparrow!


Happy, happy birthday to my husband, Great Love of my life, partner, friend, lover, father of our five children…Soulmate. The passing of yet another year makes me appreciate our journey all the more, makes me appreciate YOU all the more. To think back and realize that I have celebrated this day with you (and for you) for the last twenty years literally gives me goosebumps. To think back upon the continually changing man that blew out the growing number of candles each of those twenty years literally makes me smile.

Still visible in you are many, little pieces of the very young man I fell in love with so long ago…but those are now surrounded and enhanced by the more mature, gentle pieces of the beautiful man I continue to fall in love with today. I love the book that we continue to author together – The Story of Us, and I am prayerful that we’ve barely reached the middle chapters. I am honored to have known you yesterday, proud to know you today, and hopeful to know you tomorrow.

I love you, Mr. Sparrow…

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Middle Aged, Baby-Steps

I did it. Today, I made my first, middle aged, baby-steps toward something I started when I was still a teenager…college. I was nervous, and excited, as I drove toward campus. Just to even say the words – driving to college. Crazy. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the inside of a classroom that didn’t belong to one of our (many) children – nearly two decades, actually.

Where did the time go?

It went into our lives, and the lives of so many others. It went into stress that always led to joy, and headaches that always gave way to comfort. It ticked away in tears, in smiles, and sometimes in laughing til we cried. It was spent on growth – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual maturation. It cruised along the lines of the “we shoulds” and the “what-ifs” and the “somedays” that we always talked about…and now are here. Today.

So today I did it. My very first, middle aged, baby-steps…walking nervously through an unfamiliar building on an unfamiliar campus toward an old, familiar goal – ME. Admissions, Financial Aid, Assessment testing, Advising, nerves, sweaty palms, rapid heartrate, prayer, and then a spirit of calm. An inner peace that, although it may be challenging at times, I can do this – one day at a time, one week at a time, one quarter at a time – I can do this.

I will do this.

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