The pain was excruciating. I wrestled with the option of an epidural but, since it took so much of the natural instincts away from me during my first delivery, I decided against it. I wanted to see how much of a difference it would make with the pushing. For a short while, what seemed an eternity though, I was pretty sure I had made a mistake in judgement. To this day, my sisters still laugh at the insanity I displayed in the delivery room…”I’m gonna go crazy, I’m going crazy!” I kept repeating, face becoming more flushed with each contraction, sweat accumulating and rolling down my forehead.
Just four hours since the very first inclination that this may be the day…we met our first daughter. My immediate response, one I obviously shared with the beautiful women surrounding me (as noted by the gasps that simultaneously filled the air), was of the sheer size of this little (big) girl that we had waited so long for (she weighed in at 9lb., 6oz.). My husband’s first reaction was an apology issued to his new daughter as it dawned on him that she had his nose, lol. For the record, I love his nose.
As the room became filled with a melody of tears, by a chorus of emotional, new (again) aunties and our mother, my newborn daughter was being nestled down into my arms. My bare chest providing her with warmth, as well as proving that her rooting instincts were more than intact as she quickly latched on for her first feeding. My own tears mixing with the sweat on my face, the two becoming intertwined. My husband, still caressing my hair, kissing my cheek, whispering in my ear…”Good job, Mama.” Our pride and gratitude so immense, it seemed impossible they could ever grow bigger.
Fourteen years later…
We are proved wrong. That pride and gratitude somehow multiplying with each and every breath our little (big) girl has taken during the lifetime she’s had so far, accumulating continually for the past five thousand, one hundred and thirteen days.
We love you, Mamacita! Our lives would be incomplete without the blessing of you, our first daughter, second born, precious and amazing gift. Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I pray with all my might for many, many more.
BEAUTIFUL WORDS, DONNA!