Joy And Pain

It’s crazy how joy and pain can co-exist within us, filling the same place and time. I spent yesterday being happy and sad.

Easter is alway a time of reflection, both remembering what He did for me so long ago… and what He continues to do for me today. I stay up late the night before, filling five (many more than that in the past) baskets, and then carefully placing them at the heads of soundly sleeping Sparrows. Their rooms are a mess so imagine me blindly tip-toeing around an obstacle course in the dark. The morning brings with it such sweet discoveries for my precious children. Joy.

Then came the news I had been waiting on for nine days. News that meant severe sadness for a very close, family friend. Hayley has been in Idaho for a week and a half, waiting on word about her dad. He was involved in a mining accident at the Lucky Friday Mine…the irony of that not lost on me, the collapse took place on a Friday. She received the news yesterday, Easter, that her father was believed deceased. Later that day, they recovered the body of Larry Marek. Pain.

Into the evening, we watched Passion of the Christ with our older children. Talk about tears (the first time I saw this movie, my eyes were swollen for two days), yet still there is such power in The Sacrifice. So many times throughout the film I want to scream “Stop! Don’t do it!” But then there’s this realization that without that darkest part of our history, today would lose it’s hope…

There would be no squeals of delight – the audible ones from my kids, stumbling upon their sweet-treats…and the inaudible content I feel knowing what His offering means for my kid’s eternities. Then, even in the deepest trench that sadness could dig, there still remains the hope that Larry is not gone…he is just somewhere else. The potential for a better place than this, waiting for each of us after this very temporary (some more than others) life has ended.

That is the place where joy and pain co-exist for me. Does anyone else know what I mean?

About thisnest

The Sparrows are happily married, and the parents of five children. Donna and her husband Antonio are college sweethearts who also raised his seven siblings, many with special needs, for nearly two decades. Along the way they have navigated the ups and downs of being a blended, black, white, and brown family. Donna celebrates each day of blessings and embraces her family’s “interraciality” through poetry, anecdotes, and glimpses into her beautifully chaotic life on her blog at www.ThisNest.com
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2 Responses to Joy And Pain

  1. Hayley says:

    Thank you for writing this Donna…I do know what you mean. I am happy he is in a great place and looking down over all of us but so sad he is gone. Towards the end of our wait a few of us said we thought they would find him on Easter. Although it was not the outcome we wanted I know he will always be with us. Thank you for your support and prayers.

  2. thisnest says:

    Oh, Hayley…I have thought of you so many times since this. I can’t imagine, and don’t want to, the emotional roller coaster you’ve been on. I am so sorry for your loss. You know if you need anything, our family will always be here for you and yours. We love you!

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