Protect And Keep Us All

It’s been a month now since Star returned to Mississippi to live with her mother. Almost three months since Fayzonn made the same choice. It hurts me to say it, and it brings joy to me at the same time…this new situation we find ourselves in is so natural that it makes the last fifteen years of our lives seem almost more like a book we once read. Am I concerned about the kids? I love them with all my heart, of course I am. How could I not be? I’ve been doing their mother’s job for so long now that we might as well have changed their last names to Sparrow. It’s hard to believe that just a short year ago, we still had four of the seven still at home with us. I can’t say this ended quickly, because we poured our everything into them for fifteen whole years, but it certainly did end abruptly…if that makes sense.

I still see Rex almost daily, to feed him, or give him his meds, or the twice a month trip to get groceries, or what have you. I see Shade almost daily as well, because she is my girl and a big part of my life. Not to mention that she is a married woman now and I am getting so much joy out of connecting with her on this level. I see Antone every few weeks or so, seemingly the most when he needs help with something, but that is to be expected since he is only eighteen. I haven’t seen Daniel since 2003. I miss him. I worry about him. I get so confused by the choices he continually makes that ultimately return him to a prison cell in Georgia. DaShawn, Fayzonn, and Star are all back in Mississippi now, ages 20, 17, and 16. I know they are not babies anymore, unlike back in the day when they sat, hungry, on a dirty floor. As I stated in my “About This Nest” page, sometimes a kid just wants to be with their mother, regardless of the type of care she provides, simply because she’s their mother, and I am learning to be at peace with that. After all, I do have five kids of my own who need me, and who (with the exception of the last, born just three weeks ago)  have had to share me for far too long.

I ask that you all keep us in your prayers as we continue this strange, yet exciting, transition going on in the Sparrow household. Most of all though, I ask that you keep the rest of the kids covered in prayer as they also are making life’s difficult changes, some without my hand to hold, some succeeding, some just trying to find their way.

Protect and keep us all Father, In Jesus’ name, Amen…