Goodnight Twelve Year Old…

“Goodnight twelve year old.”

I just spoke these words to you, my precious Mamacita, as I kissed you goodnight…the last time I will do so before you become a teenager. Where has the time gone? I haven’t been super emotional, up til now, thinking about the finality of the milestone that is tomorrow. No more baby girl braids…no more Disney themed, frilly, little swimsuits…no more tricking you on the “3 count” before I yank out a baby tooth…no more car seats, booster seats, and yes, now you ride in the front…no more glittery body spray that makes you smell like a fruity jelly bean…no more fake high heels – now you wear mine (even though they make you taller than me)…no more explaining to you the truth about the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny – and yes, I know you still get an basket despite this knowledge…and no more scooping up your little girl frame and holding you on my hip.

“Mom (the word Mommy is a thing of the past), can I curl up on your lap like when I was a baby?” you asked me tonight. Your clumsy efforts to fold your five foot, seven inch frame into the space that used to hold you so easily, well, that was certainly bittersweet for me. I closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around you tonight and, just for that moment, your straightened bangs were replaced with twists and afro-puffs, I could see past your perfectly shaped smile – back to a mouthful of gappy, awkward ivories that just weren’t sure where to go, and you, my baby, fit perfectly into the arms of your mother.

I love you with all that I have. I am so proud of you, and I feel extremely honored to be your mother. It seems now that I am simply along for the ride…a journey that goes faster and faster the further into it we get. I am sad about the part that is now behind us…I can’t lie about that. More than that though, I am incredibly anxious and excited to discover what’s still to come and I know that you will continue make your father and I proud…just by being you.

Love,

Mommy