A Mother’s Heart


Tomorrow marks a week since I got that long awaited phone call; “Donna? My water just broke.” she nervously stated through the cell phone. My heart began to pound out of my chest and an emotional lump began rapidly growing in my throat, as my mind raced past the years of witnessing the transition from broken little girl to beautiful very-soon-to-be new mommy.

To have known her as a confused child who just got her first period (sitting with me and an encyclopedia opened to U for Uterus, as I tried to explain that babies don’t actually come out of a stomach) and to now know her as a woman, wife and a brand new mommy…unexplainable.

To have ached with her over her first heartbreak.

To have held her hand when she got her belly ring.

To have cheered loudly for her during basketball games and various awards ceremonies.

To have rushed her anxiously to the dentist when some kid knocked her front tooth loose on the basketball court.

To have cried proud tears as she received her diploma.

And now I ache for her, and cheer for her, and rush to her, and hold her hand, and cry proud tears as she becomes a mommy herself – hoping knowing that as she mothers her new little one, a piece of me will be in there somewhere guiding her maternal instinct. She may not have come from my womb but she is still a product of my heart, and I am so proud of my sis-in-law, Shade!

Welcome to the world, Arwen Elison aka Miss Ari Girl! I love you so much already and want you to know that you are blessed and a blessing. Good job, Shade and Devon…and good luck 🙂

Posted in FAMILY | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Wordless Wednesday…”Hello, New Cousin”

Posted in WORDLESS WEDNESDAY | Tagged , | 2 Comments

One Crazy Week (Surviving)

Halfway through this week and I’ve been way too busy to even begin the post I wanted to write about how busy LAST week was! Awww, the life of a student/wife/mommy-of-five has a way of making the minutes, hours, days, and especially sanity disappear without warning. Crazy thing is, I’m not even into the hard classes yet. Kinda nervous about that.

As last week approached, all I could do was pray that it would be a success…and that I would survive it. It didn’t start off well, with the news that our little D’Lo had relapsed – the UA indicating that his little kidneys weren’t doing their job again. I had difficultly hearing this news, and was frustrated at the thought of him having to go back onto Prednisone after nearly six months on it already. The long term side effects scare the mess out of me, and the short term side effects leave him grumpy, moody, and sleepless – AWESOME traits in a four-year-old!

Monday, I had my first math test in almost a quarter century (YIKES!) and I don’t know if the math test scared me more…or admitting that I’m that old. My sister and I had studied diligently but we were both apprehensive about the testing process. I’m glad I have her as a partner on my path to Nursing.

Tuesday was my oldest child’s seventeenth birthday – yet another clear indication of my age. It wasn’t much of a celebration since school and track practice had him too wiped out to go to Applebees that evening. I am so grateful to have had these seventeen years with him, and he is SO quickly becoming a man. Tuesday was also DeeDee’s pre-op appointment for her eyelid surgery that was to take place the following day.

Wednesday’s surgery with her went well but between sitting with her in pre-op and sitting with her in recovery, I didn’t have much time to study. One of the highlights of that day was when DeeDee, still drugged up from surgery, gently caressed her nurse’s face and lovingly stated “I will never forget you.”– the other highlight was discovering (much to my surprise) that I had earned an “A” on that math test, when I got to class that evening.

Thursday brought with it another surgery (Dev – personal), another chance to get hardly any studying done during another pre-op, another recovery room, and another child making silly, drug-induced statements. This particular child apparently thinks she is British while under the influence, commenting in a very thick accent while sipping on chicken broth “Oh, this is bloody hot!” Her surgery was a little more invasive than her sister’s, requiring more pain management and TLC. She’s actually still having some difficulty and hasn’t returned to school yet, and I’m actually still having difficulty finding time to study.

Friday finally arrived and brought with it two little boys who have never been without their mother’s full attention this long…ever. So after getting Tony off to work, Boo Boo and DeeDee off to school, and Dev comfortable at home, we decided to go on an adventure. To the Kid’s Club we went (think McDonald’s Playland times 100 – Oh Lord, please not more math) for a few hours of climbing, sliding, dancing, and playing.

Saturday was Boo Boo’s dream come true, first opportunity to run on a University track in front of very important people. The Invitational at the U of O (his favorite college, BTW) only takes the top one athlete in each event, and he was running in three events! Ultimately, and due to a strain in his hip, they put his alternate into his leg of the relay. The same hip injury cost him first place in his 110 hurdles event and took him out of competition for the 300 hurdles. Very disappointing, indeed.

These are all the things I wanted to share with you on Sunday…but I was too tired to write a post. This week has been a little easier, but still the blessed chaos you expect to find in the Sparrow’s Nest. I am busy studying, writing papers, and being a wife and mommy. I am waiting for the any-day-now arrival of my niece/granddaughter, Ari – my husband’s sister, Shade (who we raised), will be a new mommy VERY soon! Also coming up is the return of Star, my husband’s youngest sister, who will be coming back to live with us in May.

In the meantime – my house is a mess, I’m loading up on vitamins, fighting for a little sleep, and relying on prayer – mine AND yours!

Oh, and no pictures to post with this one – I haven’t had time to take any…

Posted in FAMILY | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Before & After


So much hair. So much sand at the lakeshore this Summer. So much studying to do for the next four years. So little spare time. So…we made a decision. It was a difficult one, for sure, but I knew the boys would look equally as beautiful with short hair. I was super nervous, scissors in hand, clippers and edgers next to me, squirmy little boys in front of me, ziploc bags at ready to catch their glorious, baby curls…and so I began.

With each ringlet that fell softly to the ground, my my heart sank a little. As, little by little, two handsome boys replaced the babies that had just been in front of me, my heart began to lift again.

“Am I gonna look cool, Mama?” D’Lo asked that very familiar question

“Oh, Baby! You are gonna look SO cool!”

I love you guys

Posted in FAMILY | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Important, Magnificent, Remarkable, Sensational, Amazing, Phenomenal, Marvelous, Beautiful Child

One of us is brown and one of us is cream,
And you are a beautiful shade in between.
You are such an important child!

im•por•tant
Function: adjective
* having great meaning or influence

You look a little bit like one of us, and a little more like the other.
You’re the best part of your father and the best piece of your mother.
You are such a magnificent child!

mag•nif•i•cent
Function: adjective
* having impressive beauty

The hair on your head is like a heavenly crown.
You are perfect at the top and clear down to the ground.
You are such a remarkable child!

re•mark•able
Function: adjective
* worthy of being or likely to be noticed, especially as being uncommon or extraordinary

From your wavy-waves, to your curly-curls, to your spiral ringlet’s shine,
I am so happy to be yours and so grateful that you are mine.
You are such a sensational child!

sen•sa•tion•al
Function: adjective
* exceedingly or unexpectedly excellent or great

A spirit of joy can be seen through your eyes,
It’s as bright as the light of the sunniest skies.
You are such an amazing child!

a-maz-ing
Function: adjective
* causing amazement, great wonder, or surprise

From the almond shaped frame of your earth colored eyes, to the glow of their sparkling light,
I am so honored to be yours and I adore you with all of my might.
You are such a phenomenal child!

phe·nom·e·nal
Function: adjective
* highly extraordinary or prodigious; exceptional

Your outside may not look exactly like mine,
But our hearts are the same; they’re two of a kind.
You are such a marvelous child!

mar•vel•ous
Function: adjective
* causing wonder or astonishment, having the characteristics of a miracle, of the highest quality

From the caramel, honey, mocha to the brown sugar words that describe your beautiful skin,
You’re a gift that was purposefully and wonderfully made and wrapped in that skin you’re in.
You are such a beautiful child!

beau•ti•ful
Function: adjective
* having the qualities of beauty, very good, excellent, lovely, handsome

People may see us and think that we look like fruit from different trees.
Do you know what I see when I look at you?
I see me!
And I love you…

My very important, magnificent, remarkable, sensational, amazing, phenomenal, marvelous, beautiful child!

Posted in "MIXED" MESSAGES, A SPARROW'S HEART, LETTERS TO MY CHILDREN | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment