Just thinking today…about life. It’s so short and unpredictable, and the way we live and die can have such an impact on literally generations of people. That’s crazy. Tony and I began talking about this last night, after he got off the phone with an old high school buddy of his. They were talking about their classmates who didn’t/haven’t survived to see their forties, thirties, twenties…and in one case, even their high school graduation. Tony grew up in (what I would call) and “undesirable” neighborhood. There are plenty of stories about gunfire, gang-bangers, retribution, fights, etc., but this young man was actually claimed by an auto accident of some kind…right in front of their high school…right before graduation. So sad.
Tony and I are nearing forty, and we got here faster than I could have ever imagined. The young man who lost his life that day would probably have thought that forty was old…it’s not. We have five kids…five beautiful, amazing, wondrous children. God willing, they will fall in love and have children of their own, and so on and so forth. Now, think about the generations of people who will never be because that young man never had his own children. That’s what I’m talking about when I say I’m thinking about life. It could have been my husband that day (or any other day growing up in South Central Los Angeles)…and just like that, my children would have never existed.
I think about when our loved ones are taken too young, whether that’s eighteen or forty-eight, and their absence takes on a role that’s just as crucial in shaping who we become as their presence was. I think about all of my cousins who will spend Saturday without their parents calling and saying “Merry Christmas, I love you.” – this will be the first painful year of that for a few of them, for others the sting of the second or eleventh year of it are just as harsh…I’m sorry, Cousins.
…and to my Mama, my Aunt Pam, and my Aunt Connie, I think about you too. I love you. I know that Saturday will be bittersweet for you as well…although I could never imagine it since I am blessed enough to still be able to talk to my parents and all my siblings. I want you to know that I laid in bed last night, thinking about all the people we love who now reside in Heaven…if it’s possible to cry and smile at the same time then you can imagine my expression.
Life…temporary, fragile, blessed, to be cherished and grateful for…Life. We spend way too much time focusing our attention on unimportant things and so, today, I choose to see the gift in front of me. I’m thankful.
