I can only sit under the weight of life’s stress for so long. It’s like I’m too strong to be weak – and too weak to be strong. And then I remember that it’s not my strength I must rely on…it’s His. It’s not my battle…It’s His. With everything that has gone on in the Sparrow Household since I decided to go back to school, it is clear to me that I am on the right track. Otherwise, why would the enemy be fighting so hard to throw me off-track?
Dee Dee has been going through some things, some real learning moments – for her and for us. Little D’Lo and his constant fight against this kidney disease – his Pediatric Nephrologist appointment is Monday. My husband has had not one, but two, eyelid surgeries – causing him to take time off of work and, therefore, money off his paychecks. AD was bitten by a spider while I was at school on Tuesday and it became so infected (Cellulitis/possibly CA-MRSA) that we spent all day Wednesday between the pediatrician and the ER - I missed school on Thursday as a result. One of our Extras was released from jail in Georgia – only for another to be arrested and jailed the following day in Oregon. Deeeeeeep breath and whoooooooooh…exhale.
In the real perspective of global things though…is it really so bad? NO. No, it’s not. My children will eat today, they will have water to drink, and I can take them to the doctor when they have to go. Then we can come home to our own place, sleep in warm beds and, God-willing, wake to see a more beautiful day. I have a mind and a heart, and a mouth that has gone on and on about choice and consequence with ALL our kids…and they also have minds and hearts, and ears to hear my ramblings. All I can do past that is pray. Pray. Pray. Pray.
I’ll be praying for a growth in my faith. I’ve heard it said that the beginning of worry is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of worry…and I am TIRED of the worrying.