Setting The Record Straight

Oh, wait…you must think that it bothers me that it bothers you. You are obviously under the impression that I actually care about how my life makes you feel. I am very sorry (well, not really) to have to tell you this but – you are highly mistaken. The honest to Heaven truth is that it really makes no difference to me whether or not you approve of my marriage, my children, or our God given right to be a family.

There are some of you that think because we share a similar European ancestory (and a lack of melanin) that I should exclusively belong to you. The commonalities of our longer noses and smaller lips, of our straighter hair and lighter eyes, and our creamy skin and tendency to freckle, do not entitle you to believe that you have “dibs” on me! I am not less feminine or more trashy because the hand I will hold throughout my life is darker than mine, but if that’s what you need to say to yourself in order to gain some sort of peace about the fact that I didn’t choose you…well, you only waste your own time and energy on that. It affects me NONE.

Others of you actually (and laughably) think that my husband must hate himself, to be married to me and not to “one of his own”…you can really miss me with that one! Do you think that because his skin more closely matches yours, that his heart does too? Let me tell you something…I didn’t take him from you, do you know why? Because he never belonged to you. The similarities in the texture of your hair, the broadness of your nose, and the fullness of your lips, they don’t give you exclusive rights to another human being. Enough is enough, stop mean mugging every couple that you are not one-half of, simply because they are not color coordinated…it’s really getting played out.

But the history, you say. Yes, the history…who can can ever, or should ever, forget about the tragedies and triumphs of the past? Never me, never us, and God willing, never our children.
We recognize the sacrifices of those that came before us. Those who cried, sang, fought, sat, and even died, to right the wrongs so savagely thrust upon an entire race. We honor their legacy by being true to our hearts, regardless of our complexions, and loving with all our might, regardless of which side our ancestors were on.

I, we, owe no apologies to another human being for the choice we made to have a life together. Our children will not suffer the devastation some assume they will. Why should they? They have a mother and a father who adore them,  a deeper understanding of the past that made them the present, and possess a promise of hope for the future.  There is no guilt from either of us, only celebration that God made us just for each other. We didn’t abandon our own, we are a family – we are our own.

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