Thanks For The Memories – Farewell, 2011


This is it – my last post for 2011. I think the older I get, the faster each year progresses and this was, by far, the quickest three hundred and sixty-five days that I have ever lived.

Overall, 2011 was a very joyful year. Unlike the two years before it…we didn’t say goodbye (or rather, see you later) to any family, although there were many instances during this year that I thought about, cried over, or smiled – remembering my Aunt Carol, Uncle Donnie, and my beautiful Grandmother. I miss you all…I love the childhood memories that you will live in forever.

In contrast, we actually welcomed new family members instead. Fayzonn (my husband’s brother, who we raised) became a father to a precious and perfect son, Trezonn. Antone (another brother who we raised) married his soulmate, giving me not only a new sister-in-law, but also a new niece and nephew who I can’t wait to get to know. Lastly, and although I won’t be able to hold her until her birth in May, we discovered that the new blessing growing in Shade’s (my husband’s sister, another of Tony’s siblings who we helped guide to adulthood) womb is a girl – my Little Ari. I love her already.

This year also brought with it our oldest daughter’s entrance into high school, her first tryouts (successful, thank God) for high school volleyball, the completion of her first year of club volleyball, and the beginning of what is Dev’s second year – but DeeDee’s first year – of club volleyball again.

This year saw my first-born, my handsome son, finally grow taller than his 5’9 mother…he’s been waiting so impatiently to get taller than me. Along with that hard-earned height came a little mustache and the beginnings of chin whiskers. Makes me want to go touch his smooth face right now because by tomorrow, he may have a full beard!

This year threw a few other milestones at us too, another Period Party (this time for our younger daughter), and two fortieth birthdays (Tony in February and me in July)…and I got to share mine with the most magical, perfect two-year-old you ever did see – an honor, indeed!

This year held the grave concern that comes with a kidney disease diagnosis for our Amazing D’Lo…and then the sheer gratefulness that comes along with witnessing our brave, little soldier being further strengthened by God’s grace. Still on prednisone treatments now, he (and He) reminds us everyday what true strength really is. Thank You, Lord.

What else? That’s right, Dee Dee got braces. Dev went to her first Homecoming. AD got his first haircut AND he mastered the stairs – so we got to take down our very last baby gate…sigh.

A pretty successful year, I do believe! A year of blessings and reasons to be grateful…and I am.

Thank you for the memories, my Dearest 2011…I will miss you.

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The Boobie’s Coming Out!

I’m hearing all this buzz about a certain Target store taking issue with a woman breastfeeding her child there. Then there were breastfeeding sit-ins organized at dozens of other stores, in protest. I’m completely shocked by these women! They think they can just plop down and feed their own children, with their own bodies – using God’s brilliant design just the way it was meant to be used?! They got their nerve!

I suppose it would be more acceptable if, instead of milk, their breasts were filled with silicone or saline and they were exposing themselves for a buck – instead of to satisfy their precious child’s hunger. I guess the backlash over having to see some lady’s boobs would be minimized if they were in a porno mag – rather than in a moment of comfort for a woman’s own baby. What do you think? Would an X-rated movie be a more appropriate place for nipple than in the mouth of a hungry infant or toddler?

Here’s the really crazy part – all of these folks that are so offended by what is one of the most amazing and natural acts, are the same people who ooohh and awwwww over bears and tigers doing the same thing for their own offspring at the local zoo. What?! That’s right, you know what I’m talking about. Any other mammal feeds her kids and it’s all gravy, but God-forbid you have to see an actual human being doing the same. How dare she?!

Check this out: my breasts have personally fed five little Sparrows, for a total of eleven years now…and the milk is still-a-flowing! As a matter of fact, my boobie is in the mouth of my youngest at this very moment, my left arm cradling his two-year-old head even as I am typing this. That’s right, I did say a two-year old! He’s actually almost two and a half, and he’s my last, so I will nurse him as long as he still wants these moments of warmth, comfort, and nutrition – REGARDLESS (that means that I don’t give a damn about your opinion of my life) of what anyone thinks about it!

Then the comments – ooh, the ridiculous comments! Is anyone really trying to compare pooping with breastfeeding? As in: “Pooping is natural too, but that doesn’t mean I want to see someone doing it.” Are you serious right now?! A person, someone claiming to have an actual brain in their head, is going to compare toxic (and extremely stinky and disgusting), disease carrying, foul and slimy feces…to the sweet, life-giving, nutritious breastmilk that a mother sustains her child with? PLEASE miss me with that mess (no pun intended) – you sound S-T-U-P-I-D, really.

I will leave you with my own little poem, in the stylings of Dr. Seuss:

I will nurse my baby here, I will nurse him there, I will do it anywhere. I will nurse him on my couch or on cuddling in my bed, or I will give him a boobie at Target instead. If you don’t like it- don’t look, I don’t care if you see, this gift that God gave my baby and me!

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Wordless Wednesday…”Pillow Pet, For Real”

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Continued Prayer on Christmas


A week spent scurrying around, last minute details, preparing memories for our children – didn’t leave me much time to blog about the holiday chaos…which is the very thing I should be blogging about. Now, at one-something in the morning on what’s technically the day after Christmas, I find my fingers drawn to this keyboard. I want to share with you all the details of today’s energy – shrills of joy, the laughter of little children as their imaginations take over their new toys, the excitement of tweenagers learning how to use their new cell phones, and the unaccompanied musical talents of teenagers singing along to music only they can hear in their new MP3 players. It was a great day. For me anyway…

Still, with all the blessings literally swirling around me…my heart was burdened. Heavy for a family without their husband and father on a Christmas that would have also been his 40th birthday. My thoughts drifted, all day, to the wife…probably because I can relate to her the most. I’ve never met her. I pray for her often. Lavaell was a good friend of my husband’s – during their high school years. I’ve never met him either, don’t even recall ever hearing his real name until his passing. When speaking fondly of his high school crew, Tony always called him Bam Bam.

A few weeks ago, he was living his life – just like we do everyday. Going to work, playing with his kids, kissing his wife, eating his lunch, sleeping in his bed, watching TV, talking on the phone, updating his Facebook status, and then…HE WAS GONE. Just like that – gone. I know that no one is promised tomorrow but, dang. How can this be hitting so close to home when I didn’t even know him?

This is why:

Because my husband was at our dinner table tonight. He played with our kids and their new toys today. He watched his Lakers play on the TV. He kissed me on Christmas, and he held my hand. I got to see him smile. Hear him laugh. Smell his neck. He is asleep in the bed behind me right now and in just a minute…I will crawl in next to him and feel his warmth. God willing, when I wake up to tomorrow’s light – my husband will open his eyes as well.

That is why.

Please join me in continued prayer for Michelle Price and her four children. Today must have been an impossible day for them. Count your blessings always, even when it’s those very blessings that are stressing you out. Because you just never know…

Merry Christmas and Happy 40th birthday, Bam Bam. RIP.

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Tuesday Morning Ignorance


I don’t get it…really. It seems to me that such ignorance would be slightly imprisoning. Stuck in stupidity. Come on out of the darkness, people! It’s so much better in the light! Logically, it would take so much less energy to just love…hate is too consuming. That’s what I think anyway…but I am just one person, living on this great, big planet. Smiling at all kinds of people – because I like to smile…not because the recipient of my smile wears the same skin that I do. Oh well.

As I do every Tuesday, I strolled through the aisles of my local grocery, doing my best to navigate that super-duper, extra long grocery cart that makes my kids think they’re driving through the produce section. I often ask God to let His Light work through me, that He may be visible to others, through me…and on this day, I could see people recognizing that Goodness in me. My beautiful baby boys were also busy being blessings, waving and smiling (OK, so just AD was doing that – D’Lo was working on the jojo the deli lady gave him).

And then, there he was…

As I looked up after placing some frozen veggies in my limo of a cart, our eyes locked. This was mostly because his eyes were already locked on me – on us. As is usually the case with cowards, he quickly broke his gaze and shifted the direction of his eyes. He turned his back as he walked away, shaking his head in a message of disapproval. The first thing that really struck me was that his leathery, old neck was actually red. A literal redneck, I thought, as laughter audibly rose out of me – a message of my own being sent, loud and clear, to an aged and pitiful man.

I did feel a little bad about the “redneck” thought, it was a defense mechanism and I did have a small amount of guilt about that but, dang! Doesn’t he know that his silly little display of hatefulness doesn’t affect me the way he wishes it would?! Well, he probably does now – as he listened to the laughter erupt out of me, upon witnessing his flashback to his wonder years – when his world was a nice-n-tidy community of segregation.

Sorry, Gramps…we are here to stay. And if you think the colors are too swirled together now, all these folks of different shades and backgrounds, mixing up friendships and families – just wait til you see Heaven!

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